Frequently asked questions about the cup of coffee you just bought from Cup O’ Joe Bro’s Retro Bistro
Q1: My coffee is hot. Should I drink it anyway?
A1: You should not drink your coffee if it’s hot enough to burn your mouth. Try blowing on it first. Then take a tiny sip or stick your clean pinky finger into it. This method should enable you to tell if your cup of coffee is too hot. If it is too hot, stir your coffee and continue to blow on it until it’s still warm but cool enough to drink safely without burning your mouth.
Q2: Why do I feel nervous and jittery after drinking my cup of coffee? Should I be worried?
A2: You might be feeling nervous and jittery because your coffee is caffeinated. The effects of caffeine will wear off after a couple of hours. There’s no need to worry, but you should probably avoid ingesting more caffeinated beverages for a while if you don’t like feeling nervous and jittery. But, if you do like it, drink up and enjoy the hours of productivity and one-sided conversation.
Q3: Will my cup of coffee cure my hangover?
A3: No, your cup of coffee will not cure your hangover. In fact, dehydration is a major contributor to hangovers. Coffee is a diuretic, and it will make you even more dehydrated. Water is the beverage of choice for hangover victims.
Q4: Will my cup of coffee make me sober?
A4: No, your cup of coffee will not make you sober. If you’re drunk, you will sober up only after you stop drinking alcoholic beverages for a number of hours. On the other hand, drinking a cup of coffee might make you appear sober if you’re trying to hide your drunkenness from, say, your in-laws or your boss at the office Christmas party. However, if you speak loudly and with a slur while spilling all over yourself, drinking coffee will only accentuate the reality that you’re a pathetic drunk desperately trying to sober up.
Q5: What can I do about coffee breath?
A5: Coffee breath is an adverse effect all coffee drinkers experience. Fortunately, it’s easily remedied by brushing your teeth, gargling with mouthwash, chewing gum or eating mints to get rid of the coffee stink and return you breath to minty fresh glory. It should be noted, however, that coffee breath is an effective way of keeping unwanted visitors out of your office or cubicle while you’re working.